Skeptophilia (skep-to-fil-i-a) (n.) - the love of logical thought, skepticism, and thinking critically. Being an exploration of the applications of skeptical thinking to the world at large, with periodic excursions into linguistics, music, politics, cryptozoology, and why people keep seeing the face of Jesus on grilled cheese sandwiches.

Saturday, September 14, 2013

Sylphs to the rescue!

So, I have good news for those of you who are afraid of chemtrails.

I've posted more than once recently about the increasingly widespread claim that the government is lacing jet fuel with a variety of bad stuff, so that when the fuel goes through the engine, the bad stuff comes out in the exhaust and then settles out on us unsuspecting sheeple.  Some bad stuff that is supposedly thus dispersed:
  • toxic chemicals containing barium, aluminum, and manganese
  • pathogenic viruses
  • hallucinogenic and/or mind-controlling drugs
  • dessicated blood
If you are asking yourself how any of these things could (1) survive the combustion process in the engine, and be (2) in sufficiently high concentrations afterwards even to be detectable, much less to cause health effects, all that shows is that you have already been exposed to the mind-controlling drugs and are now a helpless pawn of the Illuminati.

However, all hope is not lost for you, my dazed, glassy-eyed friend.  Because the dirty work of the Evil Government Chemtrailers is now being counteracted and cleaned up...

... by benevolent spirits called "Sylphs."

As with many of the topics I stumble across, at first I thought this was a joke, intended to ridicule the people who believe in chemtrails, or perhaps just to calm them down and get them to go back inside and take their meds.  Sadly, it is not.  There is a whole subset of the chemtrail people who now believe that "Air Elementals" -- i.e., good fairies -- are getting up there and taking care of the evil nasty chemtrails for us.

Because clearly there is nothing like a nonexistent supernatural being for dealing with nonexistent bad guys.

As an example from the site I linked above, we have the following letter excerpt from a woman in Las Vegas, identified only as "Sarah C.:"
This morning I woke up hacking horribly and my daughter came to me and said she couldn't breath [sic] very well. So I went outside and sure enough they were spraying all over the place...  They made a huge mess of the sky.  When I first went out it was a clear day with blue skys [sic].  After 30 min of spraying the sky was covered in chemtrails.  I decided to use the power of intention and call on some Sylphs.  I don't think my intention alone was enough, but I think some of them came and did some clean up. In one of my pictures I think there is a Sylph in the shape of a bird...

I think there are some Sylphs cleaning the mess up.  It's been about an hour and a half and the sky is still blue but you can still see the remnants of the chemtrails, they look like smooshed cirrus clouds.   I also took a quick video of the spraying in progress.  I am really horrified that this is going on and no one is pitching a fit.
As proof, Sarah C. includes the following photograph:


 See the Sylph right there in the middle?  See it?

No, neither do I, but it's probably because of all of the mind-altering drugs I've inhaled from jet fuel.  You know how that goes.

Another person, "Bram," wrote in to say that he's helping things along because he built a machine that makes Sylphs:
I built a cloud-buster a couple years, ago....and have been enjoying Sylphs big-time, on a regular basis.  I was on the beach (a few blocks away) yesterday, and just happened to looked up. The sky was filled with these Friends.  It was very heartening.
Oh, I'm sure it was.  And I hope you and your "Friends" are very happy together.

A writer from Edinburgh, Scotland named "Ruth" also said that she'd photographed a Sylph.  Here's the original picture:


This looks to me less like a "Sylph" than it does like a "cloud."  But once she started editing, cropping, and otherwise monkeying around with the photograph, Ruth found out that what looks like a cloud to the rest of us is actually a Sylph who has shown up to clean up air pollution.  Ready for the edited version that proves her point?


To me, this doesn't look like a benevolent Air Elemental, this looks like Lord Voldemort.  But what do I know?

Not much, apparently, according to Ruth.  Here's what she has to say about it:
Today, for a brief spell, the clouds above us cleared away and I spotted a fingerlike sylph pushing back the clouds, quite literally.  This was after I'd asked them to come and clear away a heavy black cloud over my garden!!

Shortly after this I was indooors [sic] and spotted a face in one of the remaing [sic] clouds, but it was a bit like some of your ghostlike faces, which I find quite alarming (my camera battery was low and so I also didn't get a picture).  Because of this, I asked it to smile and I sent it a smile and as I did so, the mouth space immediately turned upwards and the eye holes narrowed as they would when you smile!!  However, the face faded away almost immediatley [sic] after, as though I had hurt its feelings!!  How bizarre.... all very intriguing!!
Ha ha!  Yes, very intriguing!  Now please excuse me, while I back away slowly, keeping my eyes on you the whole time!

So, this once again indicates the truth of something I've commented on before, namely, that there is no claim so ridiculous that someone can't modify it so as to make it way more ridiculous.  Now, excuse me, but I have to go focus my attention on calling up some Fire Elementals, because it's cold in here.

9 comments:

  1. "Because clearly there is nothing like a nonexistent supernatural being for dealing with nonexistent bad guys."

    No need to be so sarcastic about it. This is the entire (very successful) business model of Marvel and DC, after all ;)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you for a good read, That was hilarious. I didn't realise the already delusional concept of chemtrails had sunk so much further. Sylphs must be a 4chan troll exercise that the weak minded have latched on to whole heartedly while off their anti psychotic medication.

    ReplyDelete
  3. This is just another example of the diminished capacity of humans who are so disenchanted with their existence that they will believe anything to feel just a little bit better for a few minutes.

    It makes me sad and it also reminds me of one of the best George Carlin quotes of all time:

    "Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that."

    ReplyDelete
  4. No need to worry about global warming then, the slyphs can swoop in with their scrubbing bubbles and every will be marvy.

    ReplyDelete
  5. "Ha ha!  Yes, very intriguing!  Now please excuse me, while I back away slowly, keeping my eyes on you the whole time!"

    I am slayed. Runeth through by the sword of comedy.

    Well played, sir.

    ReplyDelete
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  9. The closed-mindedness of this forum is a shameful waste of the human potential. I am going to offer some suggestions from my experience, take it or leave it...Let go of limiting beliefs and embrace possibility. Look into the abuses of authority and power that has caused so much suffering in this world. Realize that "science" is its own authority. What I am saying is while genuine science can be a beautiful thing, it can be abused just like everything else, data can be manipulated and distorted with intentions to serve a hidden agenda. True unbiased science is agenda-less and that is what we value, however corruption doesn't follow these ideals. The only way I have been able to mentally survive the evils and insanity of the world is to embrace possibility, and with that, hope. Think to yourself about the vastness of this world and how little we know and all the intricacies and complexity, the mysteries and the silver linings...when your mind gets locked into ideas about how the world works, ask yourself why MUST is be that way, in your mind? Why MUST Sylphs not exist, chemtrails not exist? Why MUST the universe follow logical rules? Why MUST it be broken down into parts? Why MUST the world be anything? It doesn't. We didn't design the universe so it really doesn't HAVE to be anything. Any if you open your mind and look, we will find signs that the world is not what we thought. Look into the placebo effect and other evidences that our minds are much more powerful than we realize. How is this type of gross blanket-statement skepticism useful? (To yourselves or the world?) My definition of stupidity is different, I see the waste of oneself, choosing selfishness rather than self-love, and choosing apathy over love for others, and living in hate and separation is the ultimate stupidity. The ultimate mind-controlled society is one that doesn't trust their own senses because they are told not to. What do you see when you look at the chemtrail spew lines? Chemtrail haze? Winding planes and grid patterns? Can you really accept that as normal, and healthy? I believe that mind-control is real. Also research morgellons. Be careful, as both are very disturbing and not for the faint of heart.... Lastly I would suggest: use your skeptic inclinations wisely, there are plenty of lies, propaganda, and mis- and dis-informers out there, coming from all sides. We have put our faith in the wrong places for way too long, it is time to start listening and believing in each other as we realize that our own leaders are enemies of freedom and humanity and life itself. Calm always wins. Fear, anger and hate are nearly entirely useless emotions, let go of them, they waste your precious energy and time. De-program your mind from cultural conditioning, brainwashing and indoctrination, seek the truth and embrace hopeful possibility. Imagine the ways in which things are not what they seem, how they could be much deeper, complex or beautify simple. They could be much much better and have a silver lining that is difficult to perceive. Be open and agenda-less. My only agenda is for happiness and hope. I was previously a non-believer and lately God is the only thing that seems to make sense in this crazy world, but what do I know.....

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